Wine Joke of the Month - December

A dinner party of different nationalities had arrived at a restaurant. They each ordered a glass of wine, but when the wine arrived they noticed that each of the glasses had a fly in it. 

• The Swede demanded to have new wine in the same glass. 
• The Englishman demanded to have new wine in a new glass. 
• The Finn picked the fly out of the wine and drank the wine. 
• The Russian drank the wine, fly and all. 
• The Chinese ate the fly but left the wine. 
• The Jew caught the fly and sold it to the Chinese. 
• The Roman drank two thirds of the wine and then demanded to have new wine. 
• The Norwegian took the fly and went off to fish for cod. 
• The Irishman ground the fly and mixed it in the wine, which he then donated to the Englishman. 
• The American sued the restaurant and claimed for a 65 million dollars compensation for mental suffering. 
• The Scotsman grabbed the fly by the throat and roared: 'Now spit out all that you swallowed!!'

Wine Tasting in the Winelands

I came across quite a funky website, which will benefit all us jealous Gautengers when it comes to exploring the numerous Cape wine farms. If you like me and enjoy wine and know a bit about it, but do not know your ass from your elbow when it comes to the Winelands, then this website is for you! I don't know about you, but reference to Table Mountain (as awesome and amazing as it is) when it comes to directions, is a little cumbersome. I mean how many times have you heard that famous line in that tone deaf, chilled accent when asking for directions: "Just like drive towards the mountain hey." And then what?!  

My suggestion: Go to www.wineandonly.com and plan your whole trip to various wine farms before you even leave our glorious, polluted, taxi infested and impatient Gauteng. Like I rate wines, these guys rate wine farms for their suitability towards: Family, Friends or Couples and fill the missing link which is a necessity. The "wine farm reviews" include useful information such as:

• Maps and a geographical location of the wine farms by area or wine routes
• The style of the wine farm and who it would suit i.e. couples, family, friends etc.
• The varieties of wine available at the farm
• Which facilities and activities are catered for at the farm i.e. cellar tours, wine safaris, spas, museums etc.
• Dates and times when the wine farms are open
• Fees and contact details
• and even decent photos so that you can get a feel for the place before arriving! 

My next trip to the Winelands no longer seems so daunting and I'm quite eager to put this available info to the test. I'm thirsty already!...

Wine Reviews & Info on the Go!

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Please feel free to tweet me or post on my facebook page if you have any wine related questions or if you would like to contribute in the form of a wine review or information about wine or an event etc.

Happy Social Networking!

Poll Results - November 2011

Interesting to see that there is no clear winner when it comes to the white varieties, with the regular ones all competing well against each other with close results. The most common or recognized 5 varieties all came in at 1st or 2nd place. Here are the results:

• 1st: Riesling and Viognier with 18.5% of the votes each
• 2nd: Sauvignon Blanc, Chardonnay, Chenin Blanc with 13% of the votes each
• 3rd: Pinot Grigio with 8% of the votes
• 4th: Gewurztraminer and Semillon with 5% of the votes each
• 5th: Pinot Gris & Blended white wines with 2% of the votes each
• 6th: Colombar & Muscat, shame poor lads scored 0% each

Here are a few characteristics of the top 5 varieties and most likely why they are the winners. Obviously these common characteristics of the varieties are generalizations, as wine making techniques and terroir do affect the characteristics of wine:

Riesling: Very aromatic, can be slightly sweeter with rounded acidity. Generally not wooded and has good ageing potential. Older Rieslings can have kerosene or honey like characteristics. 

Viognier: In a nutshell, pleasing floral aromas and very aromatic.

Sauvignon Blanc: Crisp, light, fresh and refreshing with high acidity. Good on its own on hot summer days. generally not wooded. 

Chardonnay: Wooded most of the time and therefore full bodied. Citrus flavours and creamy. Stands up to food and has good ageing potential. 

Chenin Blanc: The most versatile of the lot. Can be wooded or unwooded, fresh and fruity, rich and ripe or sweet. Described as a tropical fruit salad and has a slight bitterness at the back of the throat (that's not a bad thing) 

With all this talk about white wine, what will you be drinking today?